I have never seen the city like this.
I have lived here my whole life but I have never experienced anything like this. My city has become a place filled with criminals and malcontents. She has to endure these people now like never before. She strains and cries under the weight of a population who no longer care for her, they merely use her occupy her streets for their own benefit.
I say I have lived here all my life but that is not entirely accurate. I moved to the city when I was just 6 years old. I can still remember the first day we arrived. I was amazed at her size and her detail. There seemed to be an endless array of streets, laneways and large open parks filled with light. I can remember being so excited and I couldn't wait to investigate and explore her.
And I did.
For many more days and hours than I can remember I played in and around this urban jigsaw with no fear or sense of hesitation. I felt free, even though her tall stone walls towered over me. Somehow I felt safe.
Not now.
Now I fear for my young children whenever I allow them to venture outside our doors. I find myself looking sideways at the people we pass while walking the streets. The same parks and alleyways that I once cherished have now become dark and menacing, even in the broad light of day. These days I prefer my children to stay inside. I even feel better when they are down in the basement with my snakes father than out in the streets. I cant even remember how or why I started keeping them. Now I really only keep them as a reminder of a more simpler time.
They are so honest and uncomplicated. Unlike this city.
I do still love her though. This city has been my home for 30 years now and I scarcely remember anything else. I have had the best times of my life here within her buildings and spaces. But now I keep her at a safe distance. When I am travelling alone around hr streets, or when I am with my family I am constantly on guard. Weary of those dark places that I used to call my playground.
Hopefully one day she will return to her former glory and I can once again let her back into my (and our) lives. Until then however she remains all around us but not between us. Not within us.
Someday.
I have lived here my whole life but I have never experienced anything like this. My city has become a place filled with criminals and malcontents. She has to endure these people now like never before. She strains and cries under the weight of a population who no longer care for her, they merely use her occupy her streets for their own benefit.
I say I have lived here all my life but that is not entirely accurate. I moved to the city when I was just 6 years old. I can still remember the first day we arrived. I was amazed at her size and her detail. There seemed to be an endless array of streets, laneways and large open parks filled with light. I can remember being so excited and I couldn't wait to investigate and explore her.
And I did.
For many more days and hours than I can remember I played in and around this urban jigsaw with no fear or sense of hesitation. I felt free, even though her tall stone walls towered over me. Somehow I felt safe.
Not now.
Now I fear for my young children whenever I allow them to venture outside our doors. I find myself looking sideways at the people we pass while walking the streets. The same parks and alleyways that I once cherished have now become dark and menacing, even in the broad light of day. These days I prefer my children to stay inside. I even feel better when they are down in the basement with my snakes father than out in the streets. I cant even remember how or why I started keeping them. Now I really only keep them as a reminder of a more simpler time.
They are so honest and uncomplicated. Unlike this city.
I do still love her though. This city has been my home for 30 years now and I scarcely remember anything else. I have had the best times of my life here within her buildings and spaces. But now I keep her at a safe distance. When I am travelling alone around hr streets, or when I am with my family I am constantly on guard. Weary of those dark places that I used to call my playground.
Hopefully one day she will return to her former glory and I can once again let her back into my (and our) lives. Until then however she remains all around us but not between us. Not within us.
Someday.
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